I took one last look and then felt a tap on my sholder. Aunt Linda was standing behind me in a thick white robe. It was obvious what I was doing and I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there, waiting to be slapped or something. In a really soft voice, she asked me if I had been watching her. I slowly nodded my head, expecting the worst. She just smiled and said it was OK because she had been watching me too. My jaw about hit the floor. She took my hand and pulled me to a small secret door that led right in the bathroom. She turned the shower on, let her robe slide on to the floor, and then stepped in the shower. I guess I was in shock or something because I just stood there and watched her until she asked me if I would like to join her. I quickly got out of my clothes and got in the shower behind her. She called me her dirty little boy and said that "Mommy" was going to wash me. She told me that I looked really nice, and that made me feel proud of my body. She. Orgasms were few and far between and I rarely experienced passion. Although I was resigned to a mundane life getting by on my limited knowledge of intimacy, there was a deep and repressed desire. I knew I wanted something but wasn’t sure what it was.When He found me, I was naive, inexperienced, and lost...but He saw something in me. He knew I longed for something and He knew this longing would serve Him well. I was an alpha female, raised in family full of headstrong women and docile men. I was aggressive, demanding, and decisive. Yet, soon after I met Him, I found myself submitting by choice. I looked to Him for guidance and correction. I wanted Him to tell me what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. More than anything, I wanted to serve Him. And I loved every moment of it. I would think to myself, “This is not who I am. This is not how I was raised.” Catholic school, straight A’s, rule-follower...on paper, it didn’t seem right. But none of that mattered. This “new me” made me.
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